We’re all zuckers

Waiter. There’s a social media in my soup.

And in my bread. In my drink. Looking closer, even the salt cellar is contaminated. But the waiter just smiles, telling me that it’s a service. Reminding me that it’s free.

Well, I’m about to look for a better restaurant.

I’ve always felt that Facebook is a mess. Poorly structured GUI, poorly communicated functionality, and poorly respected privacy. Changing constantly. It’s just not transparent, in so many ways.

But I use it, because everyone’s there and it’s a way to keep in contact with people and have some idea of what’s happening in the lives of acquaintances and relatives.

But that’s also all I want from it. Facebook, for me, is a tool – not a way of life. Already having serious issues trying to present me with an overwhelming amount of information (mostly noise), it now wants to tie more and more external services to it. Did you know that person X listened to song Y 34 minutes ago? Thanks Facebook and Spotify! I wasn’t encumbered enough with information overload as it was.

You can no longer register a Spotify account without having a Facebook account. How bizarre is that? Spotify itself has tried to convince me to integrate it with Facebook a number of times. I don’t think it’s healthy to be on the recipient end of all this data.

Every time I log into Skype it opens “Skype Home”, showing me the latest Skype status updates from my contacts. It too wants me to connect it to Facebook, so that it can show me the Facebook stream. Why? If I want the Facebook stream I go to Facebook.

Netflix, Hulu, IMDb, Flixter and many more are currently being integrated with the big F. And this is only the beginning, of course. Facebook wants to be the center of your life.

I don’t want you to know what music I’m listening to as I write this. I don’t want you to know what I’m reading just before I go to sleep. What I watch, where I go, who I meet – it’s my private life and I have no interest to broadcast my every move to the world.

Yes, I guess I can remove a lot of the bothersome junk from Facebook. Again. But I can’t get Facebook out of Spotify or Skype.

My iPrecious!

God damn it, not again!

I want something. Somewhing gigahertzy and gigabytic.

I care very little for computers and gadgets these days. There’s rarely anything new that impresses me. It was different 10-15 years ago, when the world of electronics provided revolutions every year. Just getting a faster processor, more memory or a more powerful graphics card was revolutionary in its own way. Today, such an upgrade would only be barely noticable, despite the fact that my current rig is over 3 years old. We’ve just gotten to a place that’s good enough.

But every once in a while, I get hooked on the idea of some piece of hardware. And this time, it’s Apple providing the magic, with the iPad. Yes yes. Shiny. We wants it. We needs it!

I guess I’m kind of late to the game, but I want a tablet. Yes, I crave a tablet, but I certainly don’t need one. It just seems so nice and smooth and futuristic and Star Trek. I know. Don’t look at me like that.

What started it this time was the Asus EEE Transformer. A cool tablet that docks with a keyboard and transforms into a netbook. Really cool design, really cool tech. The problem is that the Transformer’s OS, Android, isn’t anywhere near the state of polish or speed it needs to be.

So it’s iPad. Sweet, magical iPad. If you have ever used one, you know what I mean. Oh, but I struggle to come up with good reasons why I’d need one. I cant motivate a purchase. Or can I? So expensive.

Look at Picard in that picture. I can count 8 tablets! He must be the happiest man alive!

Perhaps I should take up cocaine instead.